It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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