Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
