hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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