You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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