I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
