A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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