no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
