They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
two words...techno handjob
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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