Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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