Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
