Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
