I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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