we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
