How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
