last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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