apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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