Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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