I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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