I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
