that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
