Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
A bitchslap is in order.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
