if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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