did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
