either way he was missing a nipple.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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