Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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