Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
