I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
