Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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