Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I am midnight drunk by noon
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
