you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
