i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
