I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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