He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
