Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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