drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
