Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
