we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
