"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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