I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
