If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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