Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
