if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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