I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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