I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
