covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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