I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
