C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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