ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
