Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
