I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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